If I Didn’t Believe In God

Grace and Truth

The only constant that has been in my life is God.  The only way I’ve been able to navigate this world is believing that He was right beside me.  The many times I’ve thought of giving up, it was His love that stopped me.

He is truly my best friend.  My help.  My joy.  My counselor.  My everything.

With Him by my side, I can endure anything.  I know I have a purpose as long as I believe in Him.  That my life will have impact and meaning.  That I would achieve more with His strength than I would with mine alone.

I have never seen Him.  But I’ve perceived Him.  In my dreams, He ministers to me.  When I’m awake, He counsels me.  When I’m selfish, He challenges me.  Through it all, He is my dependable companion and confidant.

So the mere thought that He is not real is as…

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Giving God Your Wish List Life {A Guest Post}

Fearfully Made Mom

life unstuck intro

Today I’m thrilled to welcome my dear friend Meredith back to the blog. I met Meredith via an online writing class and was instantly drawn to her welcoming spirit and authentic words. I had the pleasure of meeting her on person at the She Speaks conference in 2014, and hope to connect again in the near future. One of the things I love about this woman of God is her willingness to lay it all out there- the messiness and the truth- for the sake of drawing others to his Truth.

Meet Meredith-2

Meredith is a perfectly imperfect Daughter of the King, wife to her cattle man and “Mama” to two Littles ages 4 and 7. She spends her days chasing kids and cows on their farm and she shares an authentic glimpse into her heart and life online through her Lens and her Pen. She can also be found encouraging…

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He Is There

presence-of-god“Search me, God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is an offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)
You make know to me the path of life; in your presence, there is a fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 (ESV)

I know he is there, but I do not feel his presence. I wonder what sin has taken up residence in my heart and placed a wedge between my Father and I? Possibly disobedience?

Looking back, I sense there were several times I did not heed that still small voice. A simple instruction such as develop a consistent quiet time with my granddaughter. God has given her to me as a gift. I have a purpose in her, but how many times have I failed to show her His ways. Oh, how I will be held accountable.

A simple instruction to touch base with a friend for no other reason but to say thank you for being my friend. How many times have I allowed the pettiness of my day cause me to forget? How many opportunities have I missed to be a representative of His love?

“Write.” He speaks to me yet again in that still small voice. “Write for me today. Bless someone with my words to you.” Too many times my response has been to push his instruction away because I don’t “feel” as if I have anything to write. It’s only when I pick up my pen and allow him to write the words, that I experience that sweet taste of victory.

I miss my Lord. I long for his presence. There is no greater experience than that of the Holy Spirit consuming my heart and soul; consuming my entire being. How long will I allow Satan to rob me of the joy of the Lord? How many days will I allow Satan to weaken me to this world of sin and disobedience?

My God is a God of grace and mercy. To find him, I must seek him with my whole heart, whether I fell like it doesn’t matter. I must strive to keep Him as the leader of my ways. To do otherwise is spiritual death. He is God Almighty. I must honor him with my actions of obedience; otherwise, Satan will steal my joy and eventually my life.

Dear Heavenly Father, Cleanse me from any sin, any envy, unforgiveness or bitterness that may be in my heart, whether know our unknown. Speak to me Father, reveal to me anything in my life that may be a hindrance to hearing your voice. Speak to me Father in such a way that I cannot deny your voice. I reach for you to fill me with your love and holiness. Ignite a fire so great within my heart that my face will glow with your grace and mercy. In your awesome sweet name. Amen.


My Knight

peaceI have no peace, no quietness; I have no rest, but only turmoil. Job 3:21 (NIV)

What is peace? How do I grasp it? One definition of peace is freedom from war; another is to be silent.

Freedom from war. Who am I at war with? Oh, I know without a doubt I am at war with Satan. We battle every.single.day. He has a daily battle plan and he comes prepared with his self-doubt, selfishness, bitterness, and anger. He fills my head with thoughts of earthly possessions that I don’t have and of goals I haven’t accomplished. He tells me I am not sincere in my worship. He reminds me of the times I said and thought the wrong thing. He ruthlessly shoots his arrows of failure, hitting his target with precision. He lashes out through mental chaos creating confusion and emotional weakness. Some days he comes at me so fiercely I feel that my spiritual, my emotional and even my physical knees are going to break.

Where is my peace? How can I defeat this enemy of confusion and deceit? The enemy is defeated and rendered helpless only when I look upward. As I look toward the heavens I see My Knight In Shining Armour coming to my rescue. “Be still, be silent, my sweet child. I have come to give you peace and rest. I have defeated the enemy and victory is yours.”

He himself is my peace. He himself calms the raging storm of chaos and confusion. I am no longer condemned, but justified. I have been rescued from Satan’s dwelling and transferred into the Kingdom of Christ. The Joy of the Lord is my strength.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 (NIV)

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for your promise that you have defeated my darkest enemy, Satan. You, Father, are my refuge when the storms of life attempt to overtake and consume me. As I lift my eyes toward heaven and seek your beautiful face, I find a peace that surpasses all understanding. Thank you, Father, that you have defeated Satan and rendered his tactics useless. I love you, Father. You are Amazingly Awesome. Amen


Created To Glorify

for-the-gloryNot unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but to Your name give glory. Psalm 115:1 (NIV )

Our Heavenly Father’s purpose in creating us is to magnify his glory.  As followers of Christ, we are to live our lives in such a way as to further his kingdom.

He desires our companionship and invites us to seek him for more than what he can do for us.  He longs for our undivided attention out of love because of who is to us. Our day should begin with an attitude of upward praise; seeking  his face before we seek his hand.

Many mornings, I hit the alarm grumbling about  going to the job I prayed for him to provide.  My prayer begins not with words of praise but with a list of needs. I seem to forget that he is all knowing and as a loving Father, he will provide and grant  the desires of my heart.  He knows what lies ahead and is ready to help meet the demands of the day even before that pesky alarm sounds.

As a parent, there is no greater joy than to have one of my children sit and spend time with me for no other reason than to show their love.  God is no different. Our words of praise for who he is and for what he has done is sweet love to him.  I believe he has a smile when we come to him for the sole purpose of sitting and spending time with him.

“Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for loving me so much that you sent your Son to die for me. I begin my day today praising you for who you are and for what you have done in my life. You are amazingly awesome. Amen.”


French Toast and Mums


“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Satan tries to beat me up with life every day.  He uses little stuff that may seem insignificant to wear me down.  If I allow him he will direct my focus toward the goals I have set but not yet met.  He will sprinkle doubt as to whether I will ever finish the race God has set before me.

God uses The. Little. Things. to draw me closer to him every day.  Ordinary life moments become a touch of love.  As I sit on my front porch surrounded with mums with cute little straw scarecrows I am amazed that the Silly. Little. Things. I once took for granted now bring me great joy.  A year ago I craved the resources necessary to have mums on my porch. Silly. Little. Things.

As I cut up french toast for my granddaughter, I laugh softly as God gently reminds me of a time not so long ago when I did not have a stove, a sink or a home.  I look around and I notice all the clutter, dust and laundry and wonder out loud “what does any of this stuff have to do with the race God has set before me?”

Most days instead of seeing the progress that God has made in my life, I see stuff.  God in his infinite wisdom uses The. Little. Stuff. to remind me of where I was in my life three years ago.  He reminds me of the times I laid down at night uncertain whether I would have enough gas money for work the next morning.  He reminds me that it was a blessing that popcorn is one of my favourite meals.

God has taken The. Little. Things. and used them to grow me in big ways; his ways.  Each time that I reach up and give my Heavenly Father control of The. Little. Things. he increases my faith as he prepares me for the bigger things he has in store for me.  Each time I say yes to obedience I become stronger in him.  As I become stronger he will use me to bless others.

It’s hard for me to sit here in my rocking chair (another little blessing) and not shout with praises of thanksgiving.  The. Little. Things. I now enjoy came at a steep price for my Saviour.  He gave his life so I could smell the mums and taste the french toast.  All he ask in return is for me to look upward, have faith and obey.

I write about the difficult periods of my life not out of self-pity, but to say to the world, “LOOK AT WHAT MY GOD HAS DONE.”

“Dear Heavenly Father, I praise you for who you are.  I am  thankful beyond earthly words for the way you have moved in my life.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt you have great plans for me.  Keep me humble Father.  Keep me grounded so that I may serve others as you have served me.  Use my brokenness to glorify you.
I love you. I praise.  You are an awesome God.





Warm Fuzzy Feeling

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Restore to me  the joy of your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit.” Psalm 51:10, 12 (NASB)


I woke up and made my way into the kitchen ready to make coffee, pray and begin MY quiet time.  I abruptly stopped in disbelief. How could this be?  My son was sleeping on my couch instead of in his room.  I half-heartedly flipped on the kitchen light and grudgingly scooped coffee into the pot. “Doesn’t he know MY day is planned? Doesn’t he know I get up early to have MY quiet time, MY  God time? I can’t turn my radio on and listen to Christian music. My whole day is ruined.”

Do you ever have a day like this or is it just me?  I have too many.  Days where God gives me new opportunities to show love and how he has transformed my life.  I seem to fail more times than I care to count.  I fail because I center my day, my mood around ME.  I crave that warm, fuzzy feeling. Reverse. Reverse. Reverse.

 I should have begun the day on my knees before even making the coffee.  I should have prayed not MY will Father but yours.  I should have started the day by thanking God that my son was on my couch drug-free.  I should have touched his sweet face with love.

My daily pursuit should not be to have a warm fuzzy feeling; my daily pursuit should be MY Heavenly Father’s presence.   Warm fuzzy feelings are temporary and unreliable.  God is always available; always reliable.  His love is unchanging and lasting. I missed a God opportunity this morning.  I missed a love opportunity this morning.

“Dear Heavenly Father, I know you are continually refining me, but it seems that I always find a way to miss an opportunity to show your love to others.  My desire is to be a woman of  kindness and compassion.  Help me to respond to others in love and to have a willing heart to hear your voice and receive the joy that you so freely give.  In your sweet,  awesome name, Amen.

God And All His Glory

And Blessed [be] his glorious name for ever; and let the whole earth be filled[with]his glory; Amen and Amen.  Psalm 79:19 – KJV

SunShine I love sitting in my yard when the warm sun is shining.  This place, this spot, is beautiful and reminds me of God’s glory.  God brought me to the place I call home.  Secluded, quiet and beautiful.  To some, my home is not grand but this home is God’s gift of restoration and new beginnings.  I have learned to be appreciative of the small things  that I once took for granted and allowed the devil to steal from me. Every day God restores one more piece of my life.  I am blessed, truly blessed that God loves me so much that he sent his son to die for me so that I am able to bask in his  glory.






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Stand Firm

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”  (Ephesians 6:10, 13)

At times we may wonder if we will ever be able to stand unshakably firm.  There is nothing more enjoyable and peaceful than walking in obedience to Jesus Christ; no drug, no man, no friend;  absolutely nothing.  Yet we may find ourselves wavering.

Satan, he is such a sly, smart weasel.  He slithers through our minds, knowing our weaknesses, waiting to pounce.  He sets things in motion before we realize it’s him.  A glance, a smile, a laugh….all part of his plan. Is it worth giving up just a little piece of the life God has restored and given to us?  Is it worth disappointing our Heavenly Father?  The answer is an undeniably NO . Do not allow Satan to kill, steal or destroy what Jesus shed his blood to give.

Hold tight and STAND FIRM. Be firmly rooted and built up in Christ.


Passion Ignited


Fueled with excitement, I announced to my Women’s Small Group that God had called me to write a blog.  As soon as I spoke the words, I closed my eyes expecting to hear laughter or to re-open my eyes and see faces of bewilderment staring back at me.   Three months later, I have a blog site with only one post to show for all that excitement and passion.  Discouragement set in quickly and procrastination took control.

I wanted to publish with a bang, have all the bells and whistles.  God kept whispering, “Just write.”  The only thing being accomplished was my avoiding to write.  I casually thought about writing, but I just couldn’t seem to get that “goosebump feeling.”  There never seemed to be a perfect time.  “Just Write,” He whispered.  I responded with more excuses: I need to spend time reading about writing, I need a refresher grammar course, my vocabulary needs improving, etc.  “Just Write,” He whispered.  The Holy Spirit begin to press into my inner being. “Commit your work to the Lord, then it will succeed.” Psalm 16:3.

God isn’t concerned about my grammar or my vocabulary; over time my skills will improve.  He isn’t impressed with bells and whistles.  He is concerned about my heart and impressed with my obedience.  He has called me to write first for an audience of one.

God’s purpose for me exceeds more than just writing a blog.  God has taken my life experiences and created a desire for ministry. He has ignited a passion within me to bring others with similar hurts and shameful pasts to the well; his well of living water.  A well overflowing with forgiveness, grace, mercy, healing and restoration.  A cool taste of victory in breaking down strongholds of addiction, sexual immorality, loneliness, feelings of being unloved and unworthy.  I want to help them dip into the well and  drink a  cool sip of joy,  peace, and laughter.

“I will drink from a brook along the way and I will lift my head high.” Psalm 110:7

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