“Search me, God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is an offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)
You make know to me the path of life; in your presence, there is a fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 (ESV)
I know he is there, but I do not feel his presence. I wonder what sin has taken up residence in my heart and placed a wedge between my Father and I? Possibly disobedience?
Looking back, I sense there were several times I did not heed that still small voice. A simple instruction such as develop a consistent quiet time with my granddaughter. God has given her to me as a gift. I have a purpose in her, but how many times have I failed to show her His ways. Oh, how I will be held accountable.
A simple instruction to touch base with a friend for no other reason but to say thank you for being my friend. How many times have I allowed the pettiness of my day cause me to forget? How many opportunities have I missed to be a representative of His love?
“Write.” He speaks to me yet again in that still small voice. “Write for me today. Bless someone with my words to you.” Too many times my response has been to push his instruction away because I don’t “feel” as if I have anything to write. It’s only when I pick up my pen and allow him to write the words, that I experience that sweet taste of victory.
I miss my Lord. I long for his presence. There is no greater experience than that of the Holy Spirit consuming my heart and soul; consuming my entire being. How long will I allow Satan to rob me of the joy of the Lord? How many days will I allow Satan to weaken me to this world of sin and disobedience?
My God is a God of grace and mercy. To find him, I must seek him with my whole heart, whether I fell like it doesn’t matter. I must strive to keep Him as the leader of my ways. To do otherwise is spiritual death. He is God Almighty. I must honor him with my actions of obedience; otherwise, Satan will steal my joy and eventually my life.
Dear Heavenly Father, Cleanse me from any sin, any envy, unforgiveness or bitterness that may be in my heart, whether know our unknown. Speak to me Father, reveal to me anything in my life that may be a hindrance to hearing your voice. Speak to me Father in such a way that I cannot deny your voice. I reach for you to fill me with your love and holiness. Ignite a fire so great within my heart that my face will glow with your grace and mercy. In your awesome sweet name. Amen.